I’ve been awfully busy lately between work and home, so there has been a bit of a silent interlude here. Things have started to slow down a bit, but I have to admit that I’ve been spending a good deal of time at Open Salon (opensalon.com), which is sort of communal blogging at its finest.

I’m not sure if I’ll keep this blog – I don’t intend to post in two different places, too much work. Time will tell, I suppose. However, if you’re missing me (and judging by the hits here you’re not ) try looking here.

Today, as I pulled into the parking lot at work, I heard the news that George Carlin, the man who introduced me to “funny”, died last night. I grew up listening to “Class Clown”, “Occupation: Fool”, and many other Carlin records. I watched nearly all of his cable specials, and even had the extreme good fortune to meet him briefly in Vegas.

In the late 80’s and early 90’s, George seemed to switch from “humor used to educate” to political ranting, which turned me off from his stuff for a while. But I always appreciated the comical genius that showed us how ridiculous we can be, whether it was related to religion or race relations. Carlin was the man who introduced me (through his routines and his shows) to some of the funniest people I have ever watched.

It is probably fitting that today is grey, overcast, and rainy. I somehow think that George would prefer to go out while the country was enveloped in a Canadian low…..

Rest in peace, Mr. Carlin. Thanks for the laughs.

I am not a very handy fellow. I have replaced washers in faucets, replaced shower heads, hung pictures, change out light switches – once I even changed out a few outlets. But I leave the difficult tasks to those who know what they’re doing, so I don’t have to pay extra to have someone fix my mistakes.

It seems that each time I try my hand at something new, I’m reminded of a saying my friend Tom Kyte has: it isn’t what you don’t know that hurts you, it’s what you know that just ain’t so. Or in other words, it’s the things you “think” you know that harm you much more than the things you don’t know at all.

Case in point: the toilet in my half bath upstairs was having an issue for several weeks now where the flapper was just not sealing in the tank anymore. Add to the scenario that the toilet in question is fairly old, and you have an interesting repair job. I did what any guy who isn’t handy would do: I procrastinated hoping the problem would simply go away. It did not. I proceeded to step two of the “Guy Who Isn’t Handy” guide to repair situations – I went to Wal-Mart, found a flapper that claimed to be a “universal fit” for old and new toilets alike. Got it home, opened it and read the instructions, went upstairs and found ….. it isn’t as universal as they would like you to believe. It wasn’t even CLOSE to a good fit.

So, on Saturday afternoon I take a short drive up to the local ACE Hardware store to see what I can do. They sell me (at $3.99 plus tax) another flapper that looks more like the one I currently have in the tank. I take it home, finally manage to wrangle the old flapper out (which was a bit easier than I thought it would be) only to find – you guessed it – the new one is about an eighth of an inch too short to seal the valve. Back I go, where they then try to sell me a $9 tank repair kit, complete with putty sealant and a new self-contained hinged flapper. Seemed a bit more than I thought I could manage so I declined to see what else I could do. I take yet another short ride down to another hardware store in town, with the old flapper in hand. After a minute or so of discussion, the fellow helping me suggests that, instead of trying to replace the entire unit, why not just replace the tank ball on the existing flapper? After all, it DOES come off.

Thud. Sound of jaw hitting the floor. Too simple. Much too simple. So, after a $3.49 purchase of a new tank ball I trundle back home, where within fifteen minutes I now have a normally functioning toilet again.

If I had JUST taken the time to really examine the problem, taken the old flapper out and really looked at it to see what was needed, I could have saved myself time, aggravation, and about a couple of gallons of water.

It’s not what you don’t know that hurts you.

Well, Round 2 has ended with my percentage at 50% for the round.  My loyalty to the blueshirts lead me astray, as Pittsburgh played a determined and mostly disciplined series.  The Rangers did Philadelphia a favor by showing them that Fleury was not superhuman, and that Crosby and Malkin can be thrown off their game and shut down.

Additionally, Montreal disappointed me tremendously by  not even making it a series with Philadelphia.  I thought that Price played excellent in goal though he had a few rough spots that obviously upset him.  But he will be their number one goalie next year, mark my words.

Both Dallas and Detroit lived up to my expectations, Detroit even exceeding them by completely routing a Colorado team that looked like they were already playing golf.

So, on to the Conference Finals, with what should be easy pickings…….

Feast In The East:

Pittsburgh VS Philadelphia:

I never thought I’d say it.  A Pennsylvania series means one thing, and one thing only;  Pittsburgh will be playing for Lord Stanley’s Cup this year, no doubt about it.  Philadelphia has had a stellar year by their standards, but I don’t honestly think that they will be able to stand up to a Pittsburgh team that can put three scoring lines on the ice and get production from all of them, not to mention Pittsburgh’s exceptional transition game.  While Philly may have fought hard to get here, they’re going home disappointed.  I pick Pittsburgh in 5.

Wild Wild West:

Detroit VS Dallas:

The Red Wings, one of my favorite underdog teams, is no underdog here.  They have gotten spirited play in all areas of the game, and have twice defeated opponents that should have been tough to beat.  Nashville did not go home quietly, but home they went.  Colorado – well, they didn’t even show up if you ask me.  I don’t know what happened but I expect you’ll see some major changes in the Avalanche organization next year.

Dallas has simply refused to give up, fighting all the way to the conference finals.  They have Zubov back in the lineup, and have an outstanding work ethic.  But I think Detroit has the requisite players and skill level to send the Stars home.  I pick Detroit in 7.

So, what exactly does that mean?  It means I am near certain that this year we’ll witness an outstanding Stanley Cup final between Pittsburgh and Detroit, and I’ll even go out on a limb here and predict that Detroit will be taking the cup home this year.

Now I’m going to go have a lie down – so close, yet so far.  Big changes in the Rangers roster next year, some well-known names will be gone but I expect Tom Renney will be back behind the bench.  He did an excellent job this year, but something has to give – we should never have dropped three in a row to Pittsburgh.

I can’t believe that hockey season is almost over again.

One of my biggest pet peeves at work has to do with……data.  How it is treated, how it is protected.  Data is the most important resource a company has, because from data comes information.  As my favorite technical specialist (Tom Kyte for those of you who don’t know me) says, “Applications come and go.  Data persists.”  We have several applications that allow users to review, add to , delete, and update their data on-line.  These applications are pre-loaded with new data every year; data that comes from the field usually.

We are preparing to load one of these applications now, as it is time for the field to once again send us new data.  I listened to a conversation today that went something like this (names have been changed, no actual quotes are used here but it is the gist of the conversation):

Joan (Business Analyst):  This year we were wondering if you could do something again about allowing data to load on the initial build without checks.  It never comes in completely clean and we force the users to do error reporting and make them correct their data before accepting it online through the application.

Ben (I/T Supervisor and former developer):  It’s easy enough to temporarily disable constraints for the initial build.

I (a former developer and now a database administrator) have time and again stated “This is NOT a good practice at all – we are sending a message that we don’t CARE about the data.  We are introducing known bad data into our database.  We SHOULD NOT BE DOING THIS!”

People – IF your application requires fields to be not null when the users enter data THEN you should require the same fields to be not null on the initial build.  Period.  If you don’t START with clean data you have shot yourself in the foot.  If you allow users to pass you bad data they will then feel that data integrity is not important, and they will give you what you ask for – garbage.  Make them clean their data BEFORE it gets to the database.  Please.

I have had to endure the most annoying back-and-forth e-mail chains every time data is loaded into these applications every year (data is loaded new every year, old data is archived off, tweaks are made to the process – you know how it is).  It usually starts with data not showing up in the application – and usually ends up resulting in a response from the developer or myself saying “But field X is null and field Y is null and field Z has an X in it, so the application thinks this row is marked as bad and won’t display it.”  Or “the dob field is null and it isn’t supposed to be, so the user can’t navigate off the record until they provide a valid birth date”.  Nulls are fine IF YOU ARE GOING TO ALLOW THEM.  If one of your business rules stipulates that dob MUST be filled and MUST be a valid date, THEN MAKE SURE IT IS FROM THE BEGINNING.

Our data is our meat and potatoes.  It drives our organization, and enables us to suggest process improvements.  It sometimes drives legislation in our state.  We can’t afford to serve up bad data.

Data.  It’s what’s for dinner.

With round one of the Stanley Cup playoffs completed, it’s time to check out how well I did and set up my picks for round two. I had 62.5% accuracy on selecting winning teams, though my predictions on series lengths was woefully inadequate. Still, I figure it is more important to select the winners than how long it will take them to win.

Having said that, here are my picks for round two (again, mostly based on what I witnessed in round one and my instincts):

There’s No Place Like Home:

Montreal VS. Philadelphia:

While I am certain that Philadelphia won’t roll over and play dead, I don’t think they have the necessary skill players to beat Montreal in this series. Montreal showed a lot of confidence and heart, and Price showed he can bounce back from some withering mistakes and backstop the team to victory. I pick Montreal in 6.

Rangers VS. Pittsburgh:

Oh, what a tough call. Pittsburgh totally surprised me (or should I say Ottawa surprised me by laying down so quickly) with their four game rout of Ottawa. The Rangers did exactly as I expected, making short work of New Jersey. But Pittsburgh won’t go quietly into that good night. The Rangers took five out of eight from Pittsburgh during the regular season, but some of those wins were OT wins. Still, I bleed Ranger blue so I have to go with the Rangers in 6.

Western Omelet:

Detroit VS. Colorado:

Both teams dispatched their opponents in six games, but I think Colorado had the tougher series as the Wild showed they could not only play spirited hockey but that they could hit and hit hard. Detroit has always been a favorite of mine, so based on their gritty play in round one plus the tough series Colorado had I pick Detroit in 6.

Dallas VS. San Jose:

Tough call again. Both teams played inspired hockey against difficult and tenacious opponents, but I think San Jose had the more difficult series. Calgary hit and hit hard, both with their bodies and their play. While San Jose may have the speed, Dallas has the experience and the heart to send the Sharks home. I pick Dallas in 6.

Lastly, I have watched nearly all the round one games and can only say this: the officiating sucked in the worst possible way. The only saving grace was that nearly all the disputed calls were handled perfectly and some penalties for embellishment (otherwise known as “diving”) were meted out. This is the most crucial time for teams, so to the officials I would just like to say: PAY ATTENTION!!!! Come on, you guys get PAID for this stuff!!! You’re supposed to KNOW THE RULES AND ENFORCE THEM!!! If you don’t WANT TO, please e-mail me. I’d love to give it a shot. There were way too many questionable calls and way too many non-calls at critical junctures. This is the most coveted trophy in sports, guys – let’s try to make it an honest and fair fight, shall we?

Additionally, I find myself (not for the first time either) agreeing with Don Cherry – the players need to dial it down a couple of notches in their post-scoring celebrations. After Arnott got a concussion from his OWN TEAMMATES and couldn’t play for the rest of the series, I would have thought guys would wise up. Sadly, they haven’t. I’ve seen more assaults than I ever witnessed on the streets of New York, so let’s keep it in check guys. I want to see the skill players continue to play, not sitting in the stands in suits.

*Editor’s Note: Apparently I was so intent on the Capitals winning their series in Round 1 that I inadvertantely had them playing Montreal in Round 2 here. Corrected with my apologies – so much for proof-reading my own stuff.

Tonight starts my favorite time of the sports schedule – the Stanley Cup playoffs. So, I have taken the liberty of polishing the old crystal ball and making my predictions for Round 1 of both the Eastern and Western conference quarter finals. These are strictly gut feelings, no science involved.

The Sun Rises In The East: Eastern Conference Quarter Final Picks

Montreal VS. Boston

Given Boston’s abysmal performance during the regular season, I am initially inclined to go with Montreal. On the other hand, Montreal hasn’t exactly endeared themselves to the fans this season either, and Boston has one redeeming quality that will help them in the quarter finals: goaltending tandem Tim Thomas and Alex Auld. When Thomas was out on the injured list, Auld stepped in and was rock-solid in net for Boston. In fact, he played so well I was surprised that they took him out so fast when Thomas returned. So, for me anyway, goaltending is a plus for Boston.

BUT…… I’m still picking Montreal, because I don’t think the Bruins have what it takes to win 4 against Montreal. Montreal has proven they can score and score big when the mood suits them, and getting into the playoffs has to have put them in the mood. Time will tell, but I’ll predict Montreal in six.

Pittsburgh VS. Ottawa

Pittsburgh has definitely got the advantage on scoring with Crosby, Malkin, Hossa, Rutuu, Sykora and Talbot in the lineup. But I personally think the team is weak defensively and in net. Even though Pittsburgh did a decent job in the regular season, Ottawa has the counterpunch of Heatley, Alfredsson, McAmmond and Spezza in the scoring department. Ottawa’s downfall this year could well be their weakness in goal and on defense, with neither Gerber nor Emery showing they have what it takes to backstop this team through seven games.

BUT……. Ottawa has the hunger, they’ve been here before and not been able to finish the dance. I think that Gerber will be inspired in net, and provide the momentum for the rest of the team to pick up their game. So, against all odds I’m predicting Ottawa in seven.

Washington VS. Philadelphia

My gut says Huet and (more importantly) Ovechkin will stay hot, and the Flyers will not be able to stay out of the penalty box.  Strictly emotional pick: Washington in five.

New Jersey VS New York Rangers

Well, for me it is patently obvious. The Devils managed a woefully inadequate last-game shootout victory over the Rangers – the only two points they got in the 8-game season series. So, without any teeth-gnashing or breast-beating, I pick (duh!) – the Rangers in five.

Go West, Young Man: The Western Conference Quarter Final Picks:

Detroit VS. Nashville

I didn’t see many Western Conference games this year, but Detroit has always been one of my perennial favorites. Detroit in five and I think I’m being generous giving Nashville even ONE game here.

San Jose VS. Calgary

Tough series. San Jose had a good season as evidenced by their second place finish. But Calgary is hungry and willing to do what it takes to advance. So, again strictly a gut feeling here, I pick Calgary in seven.

Minnesota VS. Colorado

In my mind this is a no-contest series. Although Minnesota put on a great show in the regular season, I think the Avalanche still have what it takes to steal the series out from under the Wild. Colorado in six.

Anaheim VS. Dallas

Tough series here as well. Both teams seem to be well-suited to go head to head with each other. But I have one of those little tickles telling me that Marty Turco will provide the necessary brick wall to spur his team on; and a sneaking suspicion that Sergei Zubov will be back in the lineup and healthy for Game 1 – which will bolster a Dallas defense that can certainly use the help. Dallas in five.

OK – I’m posting these up in the hopes that I might see how wrong I was come round 2. Meantime, break out the beer and pizzas – it’s STANLEY CUP PLAYOFF TIME!!!!

While I’m still working on the Wireless Network post, I don’t want to be completely silent. So I thought I’d take a break from all the tech stuff and harp about one of my favorite subjects: the lack of consistency in NHL officiating.

It is becoming excruciatingly painful to watch a game now, and not just because my Rangers are teetering on the brink of not making the playoffs (and it’s only January for cryin’ out loud!). No, I have watched the Rangers, the Bruins, the Canadiens, the Penguins, and the Maple Leafs play over the last few weeks, and in all of the games the inability of officials to call a consistent game through three periods was so obvious my daughter started haranguing them.

I thought the outdoor game between Buffalo and Pittsburgh was a nifty idea, I got a kick out of watching the players try to figure out how to compensate for blowing snow and imperfect ice conditions. See, I used to play in a league that had their games at an outdoor, covered rink. I recall all too well some games where visibility was limited because of blowing snow or fog. But it was fun.

However, playing an occasional game in a football stadium so you can charge $100 for binocular seats (and hey – they said there were seventy-thousand fans in attendance. Think about it for a moment – seventy-thousand fans and the ones at the top of the stadium kicked in $100 a pop for their seats. Can you say profit margin?) is NOT going to increase fan base. Because it doesn’t matter how accessible you make it – if you can’t get the officiating right, no-one is going to WANT to see it. So, my annual WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE goes once again to the NHL officials.

Number One: Boarding is boarding. If you’re going to call it, call it EVERY TIME IT HAPPENS, not just when you feel like it.

Number Two: Whose ingenious idea was it to make HOOKING mean “You can’t touch the other player with your stick at all – ever”? What was wrong with the OLD rule that said you couldn’t impede a player’s progress with your stick? Sorry – my tapping another player on the bicep does NOT impede his progress, it just distracts him – which is WHY I DO IT.

Number Three: Still harping on this one, guys, and I won’t stop until it gets fixed. I don’t understand why this is even an issue, but IF YOU PENALIZE A PLAYER IN THE FIRST TEN MINUTES OF THE GAME FOR A SPECIFIC OFFENSE, THEN YOU SHOULD ALSO PENALIZE ANYONE IN THE LAST TEN MINUTES THAT COMMITS THE SAME OFFENSE. I understand that game flow is important – but fans get pissed when you affect the outcome of the game by NOT CALLING A PENALTY just as much as when you affect the outcome by CALLING A PHANTOM PENALTY. So get it right.

Number Four: From the “Still Hating This With All My Might” department. Why do we STILL have that stupid trapezoid behind the net? Why? What purpose is it actually serving in the game? This is worse than absurd, it is a bad idea in theory AND in practice, can we please just admit it is stupid and get rid of it? Please?

Number Five: Let’s talk about suspensions, shall we? If a player commits a gross infraction which causes injury to another player, that should be not only an automatic suspension but A FINE EQUIVALENT TO THE OFFENDING PLAYER’S SUSPENSION-TIME SALARY TO THE TEAM. If it hits them in the pocketbook they’ll pay attention, and we won’t have goons like Bertuzzi, Simon and McSorely getting away with intentionally injuring another player. Sorry, but if you look at the punishment meted out compared with the crime, they got away with it. Also, suspensions should read “Suspended for X number of games PLAYED”. This way, if there’s yet another strike, the suspension will …..uhm, be suspended until such time as the teams take the ice again, where it will once again be in effect.

Folks, if you WANT to increase the popularity of the sport you have to help make it APPEALING. Talk to our neighbors across the north border – they can help you figure it out. They’ve been doing it for decades.

Oh, and for the people doing the MARKETING for the NHL:

The advertising slogan “The Coolest Game On Ice” is kind of silly, guys. Outside of curling, it’s the ONLY game on ice. It would be way cooler if you actually got the team owners to pare down ticket prices and arena parking so people could GO SEE A GAME WITH THEIR KIDS. Wow – you could influence a whole new generation of REVENUE PROVIDERS. Think about it.

Well, life is much crazier than I had anticipated this holiday season, so I won’t be posting again until after New Years. So I just wanted to hop on long enough to thank you, the readers, for your visits. I promise I’ll have that entry on securing home networks after the holidays, plus a whole lot of opinions on the current state of hockey in the US as well as other topics.  In the interim, please check out some of the sites on my blogroll – these folks are excellent writers with interesting things to say.

May you all have a most pleasant holiday season, regardless of what you celebrate, and may you all have a most peaceful and prosperous New Year.

Bill

Yes, it’s been a hectic month and with Christmas fast approaching, December isn’t looking much better. By now you’ve noticed my promised article on Secure Wireless has not materialized – I just have no extra time right now (I shouldn’t even be writing THIS!).

My apologies, but I don’t expect to have anything of substance to post until after the holidays. ‘Til then, wishing all of you and yours a most joyous holiday season, no matter what you celebrate.